My handlebars are shorter than your handlebars

OK, explain to me, someone, the mini-bar craze. I spotted this guy on 17th Avenue over the weekend …

He looks like he’s cutting the grass with a vintage push mower.

Want a better look at the “bars”? Here …

I quit reading cycling magazines and hanging out in cool cycling circles a long, long time ago. So, regarding this fad, all I can do is speculate. Maybe you could tell me what’s up here …

a) The length of one’s handlebars correlates to the length of one’s johnson.
b) Sometimes this guy feels the need to shoot through a very narrow gap between a parked car and an LTD bus, and he doesn’t want any big, unwieldy handlebars getting caught on anything. True, these bars are actually narrower than his shoulders, but, you see, he can always twist his shoulders sideways as he goes through.
c) It’s easier to get on the subway, this being Eugene and everything.
d) All the cool kids are doing it.
e) He has a hacksaw fetish.
f) That’s all the handlebar he could afford after buying that brand new messenger bag.

10 thoughts on “My handlebars are shorter than your handlebars

    1. The only sensible explanation for narrow bars besides aesthetic’s would be bicycle polo… which is really big with this crowd. It takes place on cement tennis courts in tight contact with other players. Short bars make a lot of sense on the court and the look likely began there. But seeing as these bikes are so concerned with overall minimisum to begin with, it works as a variant of the look. Riding on the street takes a lot less leverage than trail riding and thin tires tend to reinforce this as well. Sure it narrows your margin of safety but these things don’t have brakes anyway…

  1. bars that short are semi-ridiculous,but do serve a purpose.they are good for passing through narrow openings and such.but sometimes it becomes too bars are about 2 inches narrower than my shoulders,which works great.i used to have the 10 inch bars.i dont anymore.enough said.

  2. Hey! That’s me! I don’t even care that you’re (maybe?) ragging on the bars.
    Great article, keep writing!

  3. I love it when this happens — and people find themselves here. Glad you took it in good fun. I like to think I make fun of myself at least as much as I poke fun at others. Besides when I wrote this last summer, I think I was making fun of fixed-gears in general. Now of course, I have one and ride it all the time.

    Do you still have the short bars?

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