A sophomoric exploration of pavement markings … and other stuff

We must thank the commenter known as “Furious” for astutely pointing out on the post about the Pearl Street bike lane that the blacked-out bike lane marking ended up looking curiously like a phallus:

Frankly, I am disappointed that I overlooked this charming happenstance. My mind is usually deep in the gutter. I must be slipping.

But happily, this has raised the opportunity for me to revisit a photo I shot last summer that I thought I would never have occasion to use. Here:

No, my reservations had nothing to do with these guys’ shirts. Check out the marking on the path. Yeah, I know. I said right there in the title this was sophomoric. You didn’t have to read on, you know.

But what if these markings are not just vulgar graffiti and amusing coincidences? I wonder if these symbols might be trying to tell us something?


  1. Males only in this lane.
  2. This is what car culture really thinks about you and your bicycle.
  3. You are on the route of the World Naked Bike Ride.
  4. Caution! Hostile, car-driving dicks ahead.

(The correct answer is 4.)

* * *

Speaking of random photos, let’s clear out some others that have been lying around.

Here’s a bike, spotted downtown on Olive near Broadway, that should strike fear into the hearts of anyone thinking they are going to take the Tour de Milk Crate this summer:

Seriously. You guys are in trouble. Here’s the rest of the bike:

But take a good look at the design work on the frame:

… and I think you will agree that it should verify that this is indeed that Lance. I mean, remember those art bikes Lance rode last year before auctioning them off for his cancer foundation, one of which was designed by the artist Shepard Fairey, he of Obama poster and before that “Obey” fame. Here is Lance’s Shepard Fairey Tour de France Trek Madone:

I think that about proves it. (More pics here, if you like this sort of thing.)

* * *

OK, this isn’t really about cycling, but here’s a puzzler for you all.

Consider this guy, spotted in the Laurelwood pub at the Horizon Air terminal at PDX:

What’s your guess?

  1. Genuine, careless bedhead?
  2. The result of large gobs of product and 20 minutes of tedious coifing?

And, no, for the sophomoric among you, “coifing” is not a dirty word, although if it was, it might have similar effects on one’s doo.

(Anyway, I believe the correct answer here is clearly 2.)

* * *

Here’s a cool improvised cargo setup:

Check out the clear, round vessel that looks to be perfect for transporting precious documents — or, perhaps, pickles — in a hermetically sealed environment.

I’m told this was used in October to transport the results of Eugene Weekly’s “Best Of” balloting from a vault at Weekly headquarters up the street to the awards ceremony at the WOW Hall.

* * *

Finally, it’s time for … ta da! … Weird-Ass Bike of the Week!

Now, I don’t know about you, but I am very curious to see this bicycle in actual use. How long do you suppose this person’s arms are? I think this would be ample evidence of the amazing variability of the human body. Either that, or this bike belongs to an orangutan.

Also, notice some of the details, such as the clever unorthodox seat post attachment:

So in the thick of this holiday season, we say: To each his own, and to all a good night.

3 thoughts on “A sophomoric exploration of pavement markings … and other stuff

  1. As for the “cool, improvised cargo setup” on my bike, it’s made from an “Action Packer” you can buy from Jerry’s, mounted on 1/4″ aluminum extension that I cut into a strong but lightweight shape and attached to a Blackburn heavy-duty luggage rack (I also had a heavy-duty wheel built, since I often carry a lot of weight). It’s waterproof and lockable. I riveted a piano hinge on one end of the Action Packer and can lock the other end when I leave my bike somewhere for a few minutes. The “pickle jar” is where I keep maps and such. I think it’s more secure being clear, because would-be thieves can see there’s nothing worth stealing in there. I’ve been riding this rig for a decade and can’t imagine how I got along without it. To correct the record, though, I haven’t used it to transport the E-W ballots, though I do use it regularly to take old batteries from my workplace to be recycled.

    1. Will!
      I think this is a first — first person to comment who is the owner of a bike that is pictured on the blog. I’ve been waiting for this to happen.

      Thanks for the details, and for being a good sport about all my nonsense here.

      If I ever get my long-delayed T-shirt made, you’re in line for one.

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