The Eugene blogger known as Mamafiets — who writes nicely about life as an essentially car-free mom of two young children — has started a series of posts entitled:
“25 Things I Love About Family Bicycling”
She has written about such things as splashing in puddles and the joys of keeping your beloved little ones warm. I like her blog very much.
But being the cynical bastard that I am — and lest you get the wrong idea about “family bicycling” — I will take this opportunity to begin pointing out:
“25 Things About Family Bicycling That Will Make You Want to Slam Your Forehead Into Your Handlebars.”
No. 1:
“Da-Da. I only have one boot on.”
This announcement comes — it goes without saying if you are the parent of a toddler — some considerable time after the boot actually fell off. Five or six blocks, at least.
So we backtrack.
Even when she manages to keep track of both boots, she usually has them on the wrong feet.
“Mama, my hands are cold”
And, as Kurt Vonnegut used to say, so it goes …
(Thanks to Emily “Mamafiets” for the inspiration.)
Eugene Bicyclist 
From the trailer: “Dad! He won’t stop touching me! Ow! OW! OW! Get off my leg…”
Oh wait… that happens in the car too… :)
“Get off my leg…”
Ha, ha, that’s why I leave my dog at home.
It looks like you created the tag “cynical bastard” to categorize these posts? Nice touch.
Sorry to hear about your kids’ boots and mittens. We seem most likely to drop food in transit these days. And it’s unfortunately usually my younger son, who wants THAT half a sandwich (now lying in a pool of anti-freeze) that he was really attached to, dammit, not the clean one offered from my purse.
Thanks for the send-up/tribute/whatever. You are hilarious, as always. I’m genuinely curious to read about the 25 annoying things your kids do on the bike. They’re so cute — are they really that difficult? I think you’re going to have to reach a little. And if that sounds like a challenge, it is.
Emily
P.S. Mitten strings.
Yeah, I can’t say I have 24 more things in mind already, so the follow-through might be spotty. But laying down a challenge? That’s good motivation.
I have no children, so I have to drop my own mittens. I have a few pairs of mittens that I have spun the yarn for and knit up for myself. Several winters ago, a new friend was biking down the street to my house, saw a mitten in the middle of the street, recognized it as mine EVEN THOUGH SHE’D ONLY SEEN IT ONCE and brought it to me! It was soggy and muddy and had been run over. No children, but boy do I have good friends!
You know, another time that same kid dropped one of her shoes and I didn’t realize it. We were on the Amazon path. A woman riding a crate bike coming the other direction passed us. We exchanged “hi’s.” She must have then come upon the shoe in the path a while later and put 2 and 2 together. She picked it up, turned around, chased me down and gave it back to me. Very nice person on a cratie.