I found another cell phone in the bike lane … and, some things are none of my business

By the way, I am now reciting the Pledge of Allegiance before every blog post. To bring us together. Just wanted to let you know.

So, I rolled past a cell phone the other day. It was lying there in the bike lane on Coburg Road.

I always circle back when I see a cell phone in the street. If you didn’t know, I have a collection of cell phones that I have found on the road. I am a strange person sometimes.

This latest one seemed to be in good condition. Still working.

Usually the phones that I find look like they have been run over by a gravel truck — or were used as part of a road-side bomb.

So after I finished riding to work, I decided I should try to get this phone back to its owner. I pressed the “contacts” button. Up popped a list of four or five names that appeared to be the favorite or most commonly called contacts. As I tried to decide which to call, I zeroed in on two likely candidates.

They looked like this:

Nick :)
Baby Daddy

I pressed the button to get more info about “Nick :)” and discovered that his ringtone was that Enrique Iglesias hit, title (with subtle innuendo): “Tonight (I’m F***ing You).”

You know Enrique? Here’s Enrique:

I decided that “Nick :)” would be the guy to call.

I pressed Send and got his voice mail. “Hi, this is Nick,” said a deep voice. I left him a message with my phone number, saying I found this phone and wanted to get it back to its owner.

About an hour later, the phone I had found rang. I looked at the screen. “Baby Daddy” was calling. I answered. I told him I had found the phone, had it at my office and would be happy to have him come pick it up.

That would be great, he said. It is his fiancee’s phone. He arrived, and I gave him the phone. He seemed relieved and happy.

I did not say anything about “Nick :)”

But I was left wondering: Who is “Nick :)”? And why is his ringtone “Tonight (I’m F***ing You)”?

I’m sure there is a logical explanation.

2 thoughts on “I found another cell phone in the bike lane … and, some things are none of my business

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